It’s not that babies increase your chance of divorce but they sure can put extra strain on an already strained relationship. Here are 3 few key areas you should keep an eye once junior arrives.
As any new parent remembers, the biggest adjustment to having a baby is the lack of sleep (if any). Chronic sleep deprivation can result in cognitive and memory impairment and even psychosis. For new parents, it definitely leads to crankiness, arguments, and a general feeling of total crap. Now is not the time to start researching divorce law, and who gets what.
Couples end up playing “not it.” No one knows whose turn it is to get up with the baby so they yell “Not It” as soon as they wake up and kick the spouse to take care of the baby. Whoever feels the most obligated usually goes first, typically the father at first since it’s his turn to step up to the plate. First time couples should figure out a nighttime plan: “Agree to split nighttime duties to avoid turning into walking zombies.” It doesn’t make sense for both parents to be up at the same time. Try shifts – if you’re breastfeeding, pump to get a few feedings ahead – then one parent can wake up with baby between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m., and the other can take the 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. shift. Another alternative is to pick days, He gets Monday, Wednesday, Friday. The woman gets Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday.
A major flash point for new-parent stress is the change in their sex lives. Women are so focused on the needs of the baby that sex isn’t on their radar. Women are hardwired to make sure this baby survives, and our body is telling us not to get pregnant right away. But men can feel rejected – even crushed – by the lack of sex. Luckily, a mom’s sex drive usually returns within three to six months.
Try this, redefine foreplay. It’s no longer just taking the new mom to dinner or coming home with flowers. It’s getting involved, helping out at home. Give moms an hour to themselves to let them transition out of mommy mode so they can get interested in sex. Remember that every new parent goes through this, it’s completely normal, and it will pass….eventually…. when the baby starts sleeping through the night.
Hire a babysitter regularly
Hire a baby sitter once a week to give yourself a break from your baby and recharge…. even if it’s just to stay in bed and sleep once a week. Your sanity goes a long way in dealing with your spouse and the baby the other days of the week. If I were to do this again I would have made a regularly scheduled habit of this. This is a sure fire way to avoid going to Canada and hiring divorce lawyer barrie. No need for that now (inside joke).
Here’s an interesting statistic from the UK: The most successful generation of working women in Britain is a generation without children, an official analysis found yesterday. It revealed that among women who turned 45 last year, a fifth have no children.
Those who seized new opportunities for education and careers in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s were more likely to end up childless than their forebears, the Office for National Statistics said.